We’ve come a long way, baby, and our relationships have too. Today, women are free to be tender and confident at the same time. To be loving as well as empowered. Most importantly, we are free to have the ability to know exactly what we want and to choose it.
We approach relationships differently today than ever before. With this comes great responsibility… to ourselves.
Despite all our cultural advances, many women still lose sight of themselves in relationships and allow themselves to feel inferior. They settle for less than they deserve and wind up irritated and angry in their relationships.
Are you over it? If so, it’s time to make some changes and it starts with you.
If you’re ready for better relationships, this is for you. Here are 15 pieces of advice to empower you in your relationships.
1. Know Yourself, Love Yourself, Be Yourself
This is probably the most important piece of advice to become empowered in your relationsips. Do not skip this part.
This is three pieces of advice rolled into one. It may sound cliche, but it is 100% truth – it starts with you. You cannot expect someone else to fill in the gaps where there is a lack of self-understanding about who you are and a lack of love for who you are.
Before you go for the relationships you’ve always wanted, work on the relationship with yourself first! Take the time to do this and you will not regret it. Get to know yourself. Most people think they know themselves, but in reality, they don’t. This includes the good, the bad and what you might think is the ugly. This isn’t about changing yourself. Far from it. It’s about loving yourself for who you are and then being nothing but yourself.
2. Don’t be Needy
Being needy is one of the most repelling energies there is. It is like the opposite of a magnet. If you want to be magnetic in your relationships, do not be needy. Remember, you are complete with or without a partner. This doesn’t mean that you become aloof or non-resposive. It just means that you are secure in yourself and you don’t need another person to complete you.
3. Stay True to You
As much as seeing and being around a partner makes you happy, you need to remember that no one gets to live your life but you. Live it. Do not make major sacrifices or forget who you are and what is important to you just because you are in a relationship. Of course, relationships do require some sacrifices and commitment but it doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in the process.
4. Communicate Directly
Crystal clear communication is key. Do not expect your partner to be able to read your mind and then feel upset when they can’t. If you want to something, say it. If you need something, ask for it! If there is something important on your mind, make it known!
Be clear and direct. Not only will your partner appreciate it, you will feel empowered and be better for it.
5. Let Some Things Go
Most relationships tend to fail because of too much focus on the petty things. Do you hold your partner to a higher standard than you hold yourself to? Do you have unrealistic expectations? Do you nag and nitpick?
This is definitely not about setting low standards or tolerating things you shouldn’t. Rather, it’s about letting some things go because they just don’t matter. Leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting an item on the grocer list are the kids of things that can be let go of. That’s what we’re talking about here.
Figure out what is important and focus on those things. Let the other stuff go.
6. Establish Deep Connection
Most of us want deep connection in our relationships. There are many ways to establish deeper, more meaningful connection in your relationships. Creating a deliberate and significant connection is an empowering thing. Not only does it deepen the love between the two of you, but also brings out the best and most empowered version of you.
7. Don’t Chase Them
Chasing someone is akin to #2 above. It gives off the same vibe as being needy – a repellent vibe. You can certainly let the other person know that you’re interested, but whatever you do, don’t chase them.
Likewise, if the feeling isn’t mutual, move on. You do not need to convince someone to be with you and it’s not something you need to work on. The chasing part is demoralizing to you. There really are so many fish in the sea. Move on and find the person that likes you for you.
8. Keep Focus on What Matters to You
Many a smart woman has let go of her hopes and dreams because of her relationship. Don’t be that woman. Keep sight of your goals and ambitions. Do not let them go just because you’re in a relationship. In fact, an empowered woman knows that her partner encourages her to go after those dreams. Nothing should stop you from going after them, especially not your relationship. Do not get distracted from what matters to you.
9. Don’t Rush It
Be patient and hold out for what you want. This applies not only to the right partner, but also not going too fast in that relationship. No, we’re not talking about intimacy. Rather, we’re talking about life decisions, your level of commitment, and what this relationship means in your life. You can take your time. You are worth it.
10. Don’t Settle
Never settle. Never. There will always be things you may not always like about your partner. Things that may annoy you. These should be the little things. The things that are easy to overlook. The things that don’t really matter. Know what’s important to you and make sure your partner matches up in these areas. Know what your non-negotiable qualities are and make sure these are present. Do not settle for anything less.
11. Respect Goes Both Ways
Respect is huge here. An empowered woman expects her partner to respect her and she respect her partner too.
12. Don’t Make Assumptions
Assumptions are dangerous. For an empowered relationship, don’t assume things. Similar to #4 above about communicationg clearly and if you find yourself making assumptions, find out if they are true or not. This is especially true before marriage.
13. Don’t Try to Fix Anyone
Many women have a tendency of wanting to fix their partner. Newflash: this never works! If there are things that need fixing, do not think that it’s your job to do so and definitely do not think you will be successful in doing so if you try. An empowered relationship is when people accept each other for who they are. This doesn’t mean that they stop trying to improve themselves. Likewise, this also does not mean you accept things that are non-negotiables for you. Rather, if you feel like you need to fix them, they are probably not the right partner for you.
