Have you ever had the thought, “If this relationship doesn’t kill me first, it will totally make me stronger?”
This is like a hint from the relationship universe that everything in your relationship isn’t as it should be.
Yes, keeping the romance alive can be challenging sometimes. Sure, you and your love will butt heads once in a while – heck, some very respected science-types even say arguing with your partner can be healthy!
But while constant internal misery, or even too-regular self-questioning, may not end the relationship itself, it can all-too-readily wreck the self-respect you have worked so hard to build.
Knowing what you deserve in a relationship can take the guess work out of whether to stay the course or end things before they get worse.
These eight tips will remind you – and anyone lucky enough to be your S.O. – that loving you is always an inside-out job. Here are eight things every self-respecting woman deserves (Yes, This Means YOU!)
1. Someone who respects her.
You deserve respect. No matter what. “Earning” respect is a myth. Why? Because the concept of earning respect is based on the myth that respect is linked to your actions rather than to your existence.
The truth is, we all deserve respect, even when we’re behaving terribly and even when our hormones are practicing evasive maneuvers inside our ovaries. Respect remembers we are all works-in-progress and we are all in this, learning, together.
2. Someone who is genuinely interested in her.
Did you know that science has now proved that each human being is utterly unique?
So when someone special hits the jackpot and gets to share your life, they are interacting with the only one of you who exists. That is pretty amazing!
3. Someone who believes in an equal partnership.
“Equality” is one of those words that can feel like it comes pre-loaded with extra-fast bullets – use it at your own risk.
However, it is also one of those words you get to make up your own definition for and apply as you see fit.
So if equality to you means that you always cook and your partner always cleans, so be it. The concept is to share in both the effort and the rewards of being partnered equally.
4. Someone who is loyal to her.
Today when we use the word “relationship” in a sentence, it means more than it ever has at any other time in history.
Same-gender, different gender, monogamous, polyamorous – when it comes to loyalty, what matters is that you talk about it together and agree on what it means within the private context of your own relationship.
5. Someone who accepts her for who she is.
Who you are on the inside is constant. But how you are can change from day to day as you learn, grow, tackle challenges, embrace opportunities and evolve.
You want and deserve a partner who looks past the temporary shifting movie of your life into your heart and spirit and is able to see, love and respect the real you underneath it all.
6. But also someone who brings out the best in her and makes her want to be even better.
Spiritual and relationship teacher Don Miguel Ruiz talks about how important it is to always do your best. Yet he also says your best may be better one day than the next.
This speaks directly to the transformative power of being in a relationship with the right person who also understands we are all works-in-progress.
7. Someone who will be there for her through the good times and the hard times too.
Is life challenging sometimes? You betcha! You deserve a partner who won’t run for the hills at the first sign of you breaking a sweat.
8. Someone who also respects themselves the way she respects herself.
Doing the hard inner work of earning your own self-respect is a huge thing.
In a perfect world, like would always attract like, and you would always attract only potential partners who also respect themselves.
But until we get there, you must continue to do the heavy lifting of maintaining your own self-respect and only partnering with someone who is prepared to match your level of self-respect.
Relationships can be awesome and amazing, but they can also send up some serious challenges your way. Always remember that you have already done the hardest work of all by learning to love yourself and respect yourself.
On a gut level, you now know what respect looks like and feels like. If your partner fails to live up to their end of the bargain, your intuition will tell you – trust it.
