“The past has no power over us. It doesn’t matter how long we have had a negative pattern. The point of power is in the present moment. What a wonderful thing to realize! We can begin to be free in this moment!”-Louise Hay
Let’s begin with this… Right now, in this moment, you are reading this for a reason. Let that sink in. If your eyes are currently on this page, there is something in your life that needs to change. Othewise, why would you be reading this? No… there’s a reason your here and hopefully this article can provide you with the tools and inspiration you need to finally make the changes to take charge of your life.
So what is it that you want? Do you want to feel more in control? Do you long for more freedom? Do you crave more peace? Are you looking for more meaning and purpose? Do you just want more?
This article is the utlimate cliff notes for taking charge of your life. It is the simple version of what it will take. It’s a darn good outline. You will need to do more than just read this. You will need to take action. It’s not necessarily easy to take charge, especially if you have felt out of control for some time. But, know this – it is possible. In fact, it is even probable, so long as your desire is strong enough and you put in the effort it takes.
Hint #1: You do have what it takes, sister. You really do.
Hint #2: You are worth it. So worth it.
This is your life. You will only live it once. Since this is all you have is now, so you may as well start now. Do not spend any more of your precious time making excuses. The time for change is now.
Here are 12 things you absolutely must do differently if you are ready to finally take charge of your life.
1. Be Yourself
This may sound so simple. You may think, hey, I’m always just being myself. The truth is that most of us are not being our true, authentic selves day in and day out. We adjust our behavior, our wants, our desires, our dislikes, depending on our environment and the people around us.
The thing is though, that you are your own star! You came into this life with your very own individual quirks, characteristics and most importantly, your gifts. Who you are at a core level, without the influence of the outside world, is foundational to living a life that you are in charge of.
Embrace who you are and be that. Bring forth end emphasize the shiny parts. Accept and work on improving the other parts that you wish were different. But do it because it is what you want, not what the world wants of you. And definitely don’t make changes so that you will fit in.
A copycat has never lived a truly fulfilling life. If your goal is to actually live a life that you are in charge of, being yourself is absolutely foundational. It is a non-negotiable element.
2. Know Your Why
All people who live a life they are in charge of know their “why.” They know exactly why they do the things they do and this is key to keeping them at the helm of their life.
Knowing your why is so much more than a feel-good strategy. It is what keeps you inspired, motivated and on track. It helps you to know what you will say yes to and what you say no to. It helps you in every decision you make. It also makes it crystal clear to you each day what you need to be focusing on. It helps you to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Knowing your why should be present in everything you do.
So, why do you want a change? What is your why?
3. Have a Plan for the Future
Create a plan for your future. Rather than waking up each day without a plan for what your future holds, create that plan and do what it takes to get there. Picture where you want to be 5 years from now, 3 years from now and 1 year from now. Reverse engineer what you need to be doing in order to get there.
Just like your why will always be at the forefront of everything you do, refer to your plan consistently so you stick with it. Honor the plan, and yourself, with consistency in your actions.
4. Take Responsibility for Everything in Your Life
Your pity party is officially over because after you finish this section, you will become the kind of woman who owns her life and does what it takes to live the life of her dreams.
Even though it sometimes may not seem that way, taking 100% responsiblity for everything in your life empowers you in a very tangible way. In taking 100% responsiblity, you get to be the one in charge. You become the master of your destiny. It seems counterintuitive to most, but this is exactly what will give you control over your future.
Instead of blaming situtations or other people for the things in your life that are not going well, take responsiblity and make the changes that serve you. This is an exciting one and the results that come from taking responsiblity will astound you. If you want to catapult yourself into a life you love, this is a must.
Being accountable and taking full responsibility is the shortest path to personal growth. Refuse to be a victim. Own your choices and watch how fast you move ahead in life.
5. Take Care of Yourself, Physically
A woman who knows she is in charge of her life also knows that she is in charge of her physical body. If you are not taking care of your vessel, do not expect to be living your dream life either. Your body requires adequate sleep, hydration, daily movement and excellent nutrition. These things are key. They are not up for negotiation. It is as simply as that.
6. Take Care of Yourself, Emotionally
Notice and become aware of your own personal emotional landscape. Are you stuck in past trauma? Are you living in a state of stress? Are you allowing toxic people to impact your emotional state? Are you making decisions that are not algined with your emotional health?
The solution to how to take care of yourself, emotionally, is different for everyone depending on their own unique cirumstances. The key is to figure out what will work for you and get you out of the current situation into something better for yourself.
Keep in mind that emotional health can be a process, especially if you’ve reached a low point as of late. The good news is that once you start working on your emotional health, the effect is like that of a snowball – it builds upon itself and gets better and better faster and more easily as you continue to work on it.
Another good piece of advice is to work on your stress levels and include time for relaxation practices, such as meditation and yoga, into your days. Also important is to work on your personal development every day.
7. Love Yourself Fully
Similar to being yourself in #1 above, loving yourself is key. You may think you love yourelf, but be sure to take a good look at how often you criticize yourself throughout the day. Do you look in the mirror and see the beauty that you are or do you wish things were different.
Learn to love and honor every part of you. This includes your entire body, your personality, all your best qualities and all your shortcomings. Love and accept all of you and the miracle that you are.
8. Focus Less on What Everyone Else is Doing
Your journey is your own and at the end of your life you are the only one who will know whether you lived it for you and your mission or whether you lived it focusing on what other people were doing or thinking. Stop comparing yourself to others and stop focusing on what everyone else is doing.
Not only is this totally unfair to you, it also provides no real value to your life. Focusing on others will always make you feel less in charge of your own life. No one gets to live your life but you. Focus on you.
Bonus Tip: Does scrolling social media, seeing what everyone else is up to, make you feel better or worse afterwards? Really think about the answer to that and if the answer is worse, make changes to limit your scrolling.
9. Raise Your Standards and Know that You Deserve the Best in Life
If the way you’ve been living your life feels less than satisfying to you, it’s time to raise your standards. You deserve everything your heart desires and you are the one who gets to decide what those desires are.
Raise your standards in all areas of your life, including your self-discpline on the important thing listed in this article. In other words, this includes raising your standards on what you do for yourself and what you tolerate for yourself. Make your self-care a top priority. Eliminate the toxic people from your life. Feed yourself the good food that fuels you and limit the junk. Raise your standards for what you allow in your life and the way you do things.
Expect greatness for yourself and notice how quickly things change for you.
10. Do The Things, Even if You’re Afraid
How many times has your fear held you back? Taking action is key. Maybe you know you need to start looking for a new job, but you’re afraid, so you haven’t. Maybe your relationship is really not good for you, but you’re afraid of being alone. Maybe you have a creative desire on your heart, like writing a book, but you haven’t started because you’re afraid you’re not a good writer or, even worse, you’re afraid of what others will think.
Do not allow fear to control your life. Take baby steps if you must, but make the changes. Do the things, even if you’re afraid.
11. Be Proactive
Do you wait til the last minute to get things done? Do you allow the demands and requests of life to dictate your day? No more. Today is the day that you start to be proactive. This is one of the fastest ways to gain control of your life.
Key points to remember:
- Look ahead and plan out your time in advance.
- Do not overschedule yourself.
- Don’t let decisions linger. Make the decision and move on.
- Stop waiting until the last minute to get things done.
- Create time in your schedule to do the mundane things in your life in rapid fire succession.
- If you foresee an issue arising, deal with it before it gets worse.
Anticipate, plan, stay aware and act accordingly.
12. Stop Doing the Things You Hate
You have the right to say “no.” Do you want to feel more in charge of your life immediately? Then stop doing the things you hate. In fact, take it a step further and eliminate everything possible that does not contribute to your survival or add value to your life.
Think about those things you dred, or even the things that just don’t add value to your life. While not everything can be eliminated, if you really take a good look at those things, you will find that you can say no to those things and free up time and mental energy in your life.
Empower yourself now. It is time for you to take charge of your life. The strategies listed in this article might not be easy, but they are worth it. And you are worth it. You will always be a work in progress. We all will. But make the journey so much more peaceful but taking charge in all the ways you can.
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship.”— Louisa May Alcott